Alder '03: Angels

He was nursing his third drink when they showed up. They'd come straight to him, taking up on each side, surrounding him with twinkling eyes and warm smiles. He'd smiled back, of course, but it was a nervous smile.

"You got us a room?" He nodded, unable to speak. He reached into his pocket and slipped the key into a waiting palm. Blue eyes met his and a gentle hand touched his cheek. "Don't worry, you'll be fine." The eyes darted over his shoulder, and he felt another pair of hands placed at the small of his back, urging him off the bar stool.

"Come now, paradise awaits," the voice behind him said softly in his ear. He nodded and allowed the man in front of him to pull him forward. "You've paid your tab?" He nodded again. "Good."

He allowed himself to be guided toward the elevators.


They'd been there an hour, and still all they were doing was talking. He had taken up residence in one of the room's chairs as soon as they'd arrived; the lankier of his two companions had stretched out lazily on the bed, kicking his boots off and discarding his long coat in a pile. The other man had taken more care, hanging his jacket in the closet, slipping off his loafers, and sitting in another chair. The conversation had been light – about the goings-on in the city, the world at large, the latest movies. Nothing heavy, and definitely nothing too personal.

But small talk can only last so long in some situations. "So…" Green eyes met his and a small, serious smile played at full lips. "This is your show, dahlin'. Ah don't believe you with to spend the entiah night conversing."

"I…" He bit his lip, his eyes falling to the floor. "I'm not sure what…"

"First time's always hardest," the man on the bed shrugged. "But that's why ya asked us t'come here, ain't it?"

"Yeah." Part of him wished to sink into the chair, the other part wished desperately to run out of the room and forget the whole thing.

Luckily there was a third option.

He noticed movement out of the corner of his eye just before his face was raised to face the man before him. Green eyes twinkled with a gentleness that eased his confusion, and then he felt a soft hand moving behind his neck, caressing the muscles there softly. Soft lips moved closer to his, until he felt warm breath tickling his chin.

"Just relax. Let us take care of you."

And then he was kissed. It was tender, almost chaste, supple lips moving against his. He closed his eyes and allowed the feeling to wash over him – the feeling of being kissed so perfectly.

He moaned as a hand stroked his chest, caressing him through his shirt. The parting of his lips allowed a touch to flicker inside his mouth – just briefly, just a quick tease. Just enough for him to want to chase the tongue with his own, follow it into its own cavern. He wasn't sure he knew what he was doing, but he did it anyway, and received a soft chuckle for his efforts. He tried to pull back but the hand on his chest fisted his shirt, not allowing him to go far.

"No, that was nice," the voice drawled, amusement evident. "You're a natural." The kiss resumed, this time with more confidence on his part. He still let his partner lead, but the kiss was deeper, more meaningful than before.

A third hand joined the two already caressing him, and he opened his eyes to look up into a smiling face. "Doin' all right there." Blue eyes shown down on him, and he found himself smiling shyly. He let himself be guided from the chair to the bed by two pairs of hands, and then he was kissing the taller man, being pulled up onto the mattress. He closed his eyes and tried to memorize the feelings of pleasure stirring within him as hands began unbuttoning his shirt ever so slowly, removing his boots and socks.

He was always being kissed, though the lips changed from time to time. As his clothing was removed, he was always being touched, stroked, petted. And when he found himself naked on the comforter, he opened his eyes to find his companions had managed to undress in the process as well. He almost wished he'd had the presence of mind to watch, but the thought didn't last long in the face of the glory before him. "He's a beauty, ain't he?" Blue eyes glittered at their mate, and green eyes flirted in return.

"And you are any less, sir?"

"Now, no teasin' the man on his first night."

"Perish the thought." He laughed at the exchange, thinking how just like… He sighed and looked away.

"What's wrong?

He didn't recall them moving to his side, but hands rested lightly on his shoulders and chest.

"Two'a you have been together a long time, s'all."

"Nearly as long as we've known each othah, yes."

"Ya happy together?"

Green eyes met blue with concern. "Verah."

"Then why are you doin' this?"

The partners sat back, exchanging another glance – this would be a bit delicate, to be sure.

"Well, we like ta share. Some people… like you… they need ta feel safe their first time out. We know we can show ya how to enjoy it. No pressah, no expectations. Just..."

"We want to help," his lover continued. "We've been where you are. We remembah how painful and frustrating and frightening it can be. How confused you aw at the moment, and how complicated everything seems. You will nevah be ready to find love until you are comfortable with yahself in this situation. You must feel good about yahself above everathing else."

"Don't get it wrong. We love each other." The long-haired man smiled at his partner, a look that warmed his heart. There was no question about the love being sent without a single word, and the man's message was well received by his mate.

"Verah much," was the nearly whispered reply. Hands reached across his lap and joined, fingers interlocking. Then those two intense gazes shifted to him. "We want to share this with you. If you can accept."

He spent a long moment looking at each pair of eyes, contemplating the beauty of the men before him. Two angels in shape and form, their hearts open to him, offering to share their love.

He nodded.

He found himself embraced by the taller man as the other leaned to kiss his collarbone, suckling lightly on the indenture of his neck. Hands were roaming again, caressing his body with easy strokes and kneads. He was laid on the bed, his head supported comfortably on muscled thighs as an auburn head of short locks moved over his chest, lips finding his nipples, teeth tugging at them gently. A delicate hand began playing over his abdomen, fingers tickling the insides of his thighs, and he felt his body responding to their ministrations.

The man behind him was gently toying with his hair, long fingers carding through it slowly and easily. He relaxed into the soothing massage, letting the loving wash over him. There was nothing urgent or needy about any of the attentions he was being given – it was only caring and considerate, slow and thorough. As though they'd been lovers all their lives.

Lips descended to his navel, a tongue flickering into the small groove and tickling him lightly. Then the lips moved still lower, teeth nibbling at flesh as green eyes watched his every response. The man had moved between his legs at some point, spreading him open for full access, and now knelt poised, hovering over his manhood. He knew he was panting, and he was sure his penis was hard enough to be used to support a marble table. A hot tongue lapped at its head and he shuddered, his whole being focused on that single action. He could feel the erection jutting into the base of his neck, but he couldn't bring himself to care about anything except the fire being stoked in his groin.

"Like that, do ya?" a drawl whispered in his ear. Long fingers toyed with his nipples, first one and then the other, adding a counterpoint to the slow attentions of the mouth moving over his aching shaft. He attempted to thrust his hips upward, but soft hands held him firmly in place. He looked through dazed eyes to see two emeralds laughing at him, dimples forming as the man smiled before taking him whole into a warm, moist cavern. He cried out at the immense pleasure, and two voices chuckled.

"Oh, god," he gasped. The lips next to his ear began their own caress of his lobe, sending shivers down his spine. It was hard to concentrate with all the sensations, the licks, the nibbles, the feeling of being completely surrounded by another man's mouth on his cock. His head lolled backward so he could see the blue eyes gleaming above him, and for a brief moment he was in heaven.

Then he felt a finger teasing his most private spot.

And the whole world came crashing back.

Where he was.

What he was doing.

Who he was with…


Two pairs of eyes studied him in confusion as his erection wilted and he fought to escape the tangle of limbs offering him attention. He finally succeeded in hauling himself off the bed, and he scrambled for the bathroom.

When he returned a few moments later, his skin a few shades paler and his stomach a pound or so lighter, he saw the pair sitting on the bed watching him. Their faces were combinations fear, confusion, concern, and compassion. He stood at the bathroom door for a moment longer, the wistfulness on his face a dead giveaway of his emotions.

"I'm sorry, I just… I can't do this."

"It's okay, we understand."

"No, you don't. You just… you're not… it's not that I don't want to, but…"

"We're not them."

He looked up into the blue eyes, realizing the Texan accent had vanished.

"It's okay," the man said. "We understand. You want them, and you can't have them."

"No," he said quietly. "They're so in love with each other it nearly kills me, and I want them but…"

"Their committed and monogamous?" He nodded sullenly.

The shorter of the two men got off the bed and approached him slowly. He reached out a hand and pulled his client close, allowing the man to sag against him. "There now, it's all right."

The slight Boston accent struck a chord, and the tears came. First a few, then a torrent. He was pulled back to the bed and laid down, the sheets and comforter tucked up around him and his human pillow snuggly but their third companion. Time passed as he cried, but slowly he regained composure and started to breathe easier.

"Have you asked them?" He looked up at the speaker. "You're so sure they wouldn't be interested?"

"Keith, not everyone's as open as we are."

"But their friends, Dan. Maybe there could be more?" Keith looked down as his customer and sighed. He hated to see anyone suffering so much.

"I'm sure their exclusive."

Keith nodded, settling his weight onto the bed and running his fingers through his short auburn curls. "I'm sorry, Buck. I really am."

Buck climbed off the bed and moved to his pile of clothes. He sorted through them and started dressing.

"We could still…" Dan trailed off at the hard look his lover gave him. "Buck, Alisha booked us for the whole night for you. You're family. We could try again later after you've gotten some sleep."

"No. Thanks anyway." Buck sat for a moment in his original chair, surveying the room. It had been a long time since he'd visited Los Vegas and his mother's old stomping grounds. Too bad it had turned out like this. "You two stay the night. I'm gonna head back to Denver."

"Buck, it's nearly two a.m."

"I'm good. Besides, if I head for the airport now I can book the earliest flight. I'll just wait there." The two men on the bed watched as the handsome rogue finished dressing and headed for the door. He rested his hand on the knob momentarily before speaking again without looking at them.

"Will it ever get better?" he asked in a small voice filled with pain.

Dan glanced at his mate and met eyes filled with the same emotion welling up inside himself. He wished desperately that there was a way to take away to hurt inside the man by the door. "Can't say, babe. I hope so, for your sake."

Buck Wilmington nodded and headed off through the hotel to the parking lot. Most times he'd been to Vegas he'd reveled in the way the neon lit up the city so that it was nearly day-bright at all hours, but tonight he cursed those same lights. All he wanted right now was complete darkness to match the darkness in his heart. He wanted so much to work his two friends and coworkers out of his system – to have a night where he could pretend he was with them so that in the harsh light of day he could bare that they shared a love he wasn't a part of.

But he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to spend his first experience in bed with another man only pretending that he had the real thing. And as there would be no 'real thing,' he knew he was doomed.

If only he could have had the fantasy…

******* Two loves have I, of comfort and despair,
That like two spirits do suggest me still;
My better angel is a man right fair,
My worser spirit a woman colour'd ill.
To win me soon to hell, my female evil
Tempteth my better angel from my side,
And would corrupt my saint to be a devil,
Wooing his purity with her fair pride.
And whether that my angel be turn'd fiend
Suspect I may, yet not directly tell:
For being both to me, both to each friend, The truth I shall not know, but live in doubt,
Till my bad angel fire my good one out.

-Shakespeare, from "The Passionate Pilgrim"