Rowan '03: Exigency

~<:>~ 7 ~<:>~

A fissure of something elusive opened the very first time Vin Tanner met Ezra Standish. In the beginning he denied it, and then ignored it, pretending he didn't see the signs. But the siren call of it was loud, persuasive and it began to encroach, coloring everyday situations, making them somehow more exciting.

Vin fought it. He did. And lost a little more ground to it every time Chris singled Ezra out. It wasn't so much Chris's actions. Hell, everyone knew Larabee was a hard ass, and all the agents assigned to Larabee's ATF team had been on the receiving end of a one of his famous lectures at one time or another. No, it was Ezra reactions to those tense moments that sent Vin spinning.

The realization made Vin leery. He'd been down that hard road before, and almost lost himself to it. It was enough that he had lost a career, a home and friends. Forcing him to start over. Sufficed to say, Vin swore he'd never get caught up in the whole business of mixing his particular brand of pleasure with a friend ever again. It was a battle he'd been winning. Choosing to roam the dark Denver streets, never bringing it home, keeping his boundaries clear.

Until faced with Ezra's beauty in those oh-so subtle signals. The slight hitch in his breathing, the almost undetectable flaring of nostrils, pupils dilating just a fraction, the increased pulse, barely visible in the carotid artery, the slight sheen of sweat that would suddenly appear on his face and neck. With Ezra's mastery of self, it was nothing that anyone should have picked up on. But Vin did, he knew what to look for.

A hard battle fought and lost.

Brutally honest with himself, Vin knew the battle he fought daily was only a game for his head to play. His heart had known from day one what was happening. Where it would lead him.

He was almost ashamed to admit that he played upon it, played with Ezra's feelings. Simple things at first, content just to look for it harder, until it came to the point where he tried his hand at making it happen at times. Just to see, just to be sure. Vin knew a break had been simmering. He'd been watching closely, biding his time. And it happened. Not quite the way he imagined it, but hey, who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth.

And here it was: a bust gone bad, a barrage of careless, spiteful words and one spectacular shove from Chris was all it took to set the stage.

It flashed so quick across Ezra's face, that look of pleasure mixed pain that Vin almost believed he'd imagined it. But then Ezra stormed by and Vin grabbed him. Just his shoulder, planning on stopping him before he did something rash. Eyes clashed and the words died in Vin's throat before they were born. There, in all its exquisite glory was the moment he'd been waiting for. Those usually calm green eyes flashing, hiding nothing, asking for so much even through the pain of discovery.

He squeezed the skin under his hand hard and a breathless moan left Ezra lips. Vin glanced down, almost breathless at what he hoped he'd find -- slacks drawn tight against an obvious erection and he decided.

"Go," Vin told him. "I'll find you."

Ezra dropped his head, a beatific vision of perfect submission, and Vin almost took him right there. In front of God, their glaring boss, the rest of team Seven and some of Denver's finest men in blue. What a stir it would have caused. Vin didn't care, and he knew in that moment neither did Ezra.

Instead, Vin angled Ezra toward the warehouse opening, and with a reassuring squeeze this time, he let him go, watching with pride as Ezra straightened up and walked away with his normal mix of dignity and class out the bay door. No pause or reaction as Chris ordered him to come back.

He released his pent up breath and turned around, ready to say whatever needed to calm Chris and make sure that all jobs were still secure. The minor amount of time spent arguing had Vin ready to crawl out of his skin, and then suddenly a speculative look filled Chris's face and in a quick turn about, he told Vin that he'd find their errant agent in his barn.

Vin gave Chris a grateful smile and a silent promise to explain what he could when the time was right. He gave a nod to the rest of his team and headed out, once again amazed at the level of understanding that existed between Chris and himself.

He decided he wasn't going to question why Chris would know where Ezra had gone to. There was a story there, but one that could wait. Vin had other questions that needed to be answered first. Questions of right and wrong, needs versus morals, friendship and trust bounced around his nervous brain waves on the way out of the city, with no obvious answer in sight. Pulling around the last corner of Chris's long drive, he saw the very car he was looking for and stopped.

Parking the jeep proved easy, as did the walk to the large barn. It was the going in that was proving to be his undoing. He almost left. Almost chickened out. And then as the last words his mother spoken to him before her death surfaced, he resolved himself to having this all important talk with Ezra. "Oh, mama, I've never forgotten I'm a Tanner, but I don't think this is what you had in mind."

~<:>~ 7 ~<:>~

It was still inside the cavernous building, the seven horses having been turned out to graze earlier by Chris's part time ranch hand. The musty, honest odor of the horses lingered in the air. Warm sunshine streamed through the holes in the wooden slats, turning the floating dust mites to gold. The scene would have been idyllic if not for the occasional frustrated grunts Vin could hear coming from furthest stall.

Vin walked with a light tread, not wanting to startle Ezra. He was pretty sure that he'd find Ezra curled up in the stall crying, but the sight that greeted him blew any thought of conversation out of his mind.

Ezra was naked...good Christ, on his knees in the dirt and straw floor, legs spread, the muscles in his thighs corded and tight. His head was back and Vin could see the dried tear tracks trailing from his closed eyes.

"Oh, Ez," he said and reach out for Ezra, but stopped short at the man's voice.

"Don't," Ezra said obviously distressed.

Ezra's body shuddered and then his right hand began moving up and down in his crotch. Vin followed the movement and physically jerked when he saw what Ezra had done to himself. A thin leather strap, part of one of the horse's leads, was wrapped around his scrotum and half way up the shaft of his hard cock. Extremely tight, if the angry red color of the swollen flesh was any indication. And the tip of the flared head-- God, pulled so taut the shiny purple skin looked ready to split. Must have been painful really, but to Vin it was delectable and he wanted nothing more than to lean over and sample it.

Ezra stopped the light up and down touching of his fingers on his cock and wrapped his hand around it full. A series of swift angry jerks followed and then his hand lifted, coming down with a hard slap to his balls. This continued for a few tense moments in which Vin found he couldn't move. Didn't want to move. Until the desperate grunts coming from Ezra penetrated his haze of arousal.

Vin focused on the man staring up at him, shocked to see shame and fear shining so clearly from the wide eyes.

"No, Ezra," Vin said, kneeling next to him. "You're beautiful. Don't stop." He slowly reached out and ran a hand down the trembling man's back.

"I can't," Ezra gasped out and hit his bound testicles with a closed fist.

"Can't what?" Vin asked.

"Can't!" Ezra cried and hit himself harder.

"Can't what, Ezra? Can't come?"

"Help me..." The words ended with a strangled sob and Ezra lowered his head.

Vin had a good idea of what Ezra was asking, but he wanted to be sure. Needed to be sure. "Look at me."

When Ezra kept his head bowed, Vin grabbed the sweat soaked hair and pulled the other man's head up. "Look at me!" Ezra complied under lowered lashes and Vin continued, "Is it pain? Do you need pain to finish?"

"Yes," Ezra whispered.

"And you want me to give you pain? Want me to help you come?" Vin made sure to keep his voice steady and almost monotone. He didn't want Ezra to think he was mocking him.

"Yes," Ezra admitted, releasing a shaky breath.

"I will, Ezra, I will, but you have to promise me we'll talk about this later." While Vin spoke, he ran his other hand up and down Ezra's back and arms, feeling the muscles quiver with each stroke.

"No," Ezra said choking, eyes going wild. "I can't."

"You better, or I walk away now." Vin tightened the grip on Ezra's hair. "Your word we talk after!" He demanded.

"Yes!" Ezra yelled through clenched teeth. "We'll talk! Just help me." He jacked himself roughly again. "Please!" The anguished word echoed through the barn.

"You trust me?" Vin asked, taking stock of the few things Ezra had set out around him; his clothes pilled haphazardly, a tin of hoof cream and the two more leads.

Ezra actually laughed, if the odd hitching sound that came from him could be construed as laughter, at the question. "You wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Okay," Vin said, understanding and opened his fingers in Ezra's hair, untangling the soaked strands. He reached for the open tin of cream, dipped his fingers into it and scooted behind Ezra. Continuing the soothing motions with his other hand up and down Ezra's back, he placed two cream covered fingers on Ezra's puckered hole and shoved them in without warning. Ezra jerked with a hiss and Vin wiggled his fingers testing the tightness of Ezra's passage. What he found made him pause. The cavern was tight, almost too tight.

"Tell me you've done this before." Vin experienced a moment of horror. Regardless of how he'd found Ezra, could he have possibly read the situation wrong?

"Yes," Ezra said, a deep groan coming from his throat when he pushed his bottom further onto Vin's fingers.

"Thank God," Vin replied. He pulled his fingers out of Ezra and took up more of the cream and shoved three fingers back in with even more force. Ezra arched back onto him with a strangled scream and rapidly beat his cock while Vin set up a steady thrusting of his fingers.

Sensing Ezra was close, but still not there, Vin pulled away from him and stood up, taking the tin with him. Ezra started to protest and Vin grabbed him by the arms, forcing him to stand. With a quick jerk, he led the Ezra over to the hale bales stacked against the wall. "On your back, legs up," he commanded.

His pulse soared when Ezra complied with a submissive demeanor, laying back on the stiff hay with a sigh, legs pulled up and held wide, leaving his hairless puckered hole open. He whimpered in need, but otherwise said nothing. His body language showing Vin that he needed him to be in charge more succinctly than any words could.

For the first time, Vin became aware of his own aching cock. He knew this session would end quickly, it had to for Ezra's sake. But the future explorations -- and he was sure there would be more -- shone brighter.

Vin took his T-shirt off, dropping it at his feet and popped the buttons on his fly. He pushed his jeans just low enough to free his pulsing erection and balls. He played with himself, pinching and pulling at the head of his dick, while he reached between Ezra's thighs and gave the leather wrapped smooth balls a hard tug, eliciting a moan. He lifted Ezra's heavy shaft in his hand and noticed that there was no pubic hair anywhere. It intrigued him. He'd been with men who'd shaved before and there was usually always some kind of stubble, but he found none on Ezra. He filed the information away for another time and continued to slowly stroke Ezra, happy to see the full length and girth, idly wondering if it would look like without the leather wrapped around it.

"That's a nice big cock you got here, Ez. Gonna have to taste it," Vin said, satisfied to hear the moaning response and see a drop of clear fluid gather on the tip of Ezra's erection. He ran his thumb through it, spreading the wetness and then brought it to his mouth, savoring the slightly bitter flavor. "Oh, yeah, real soon."

He wanted to take his time savoring the feast laid out before him, but one good look at Ezra changed his mind. Pain, frustration, and need were all so obvious, and Vin found that it was more important to take care of Ezra than to take the time for his own pleasure. It startled him. The idea of placing someone's needs before his own had become almost something of an after-thought in his recent life.

"Fuck me," Ezra whimpered and moved restlessly against Vin's hand.

"Bare back?" Vin asked intrigued, continuing to play with Ezra's smooth flesh. He couldn’t remember the last time he'd gone without a condom. "Not real smart."

"Oh...God damn...medical records...clean..." Ezra answered him with few words. Vin knew what he meant, though. Their team medic harped, and followed up to the point of annoyance, on all of Team 7, making sure they got tested regularly. Technically they were both safe, but going without protection was risky in their world. It was something usually left to monogamous couples.

What they were about to do suddenly took on a deeper meaning, with serious repercussions if not handled right. He did care about Ezra, probably more than he was comfortable admitting to. And if pressed, he'd admit to knowing that Standish cared about him, too. But were they both wanting to be with each other exclusively? Vin sighed.

"You sure?" Vin rubbed his dick against Ezra's scrotum. "You want this?"

"Yes!" Ezra grabbed his thighs and spread his legs wider, pushing his ass up higher. "Fuck me, Vin."

"Who said you could move?" Vin smiled when Ezra stilled, panting slightly. Reaching for the tin and liberally coating his fingers, he smeared the cream on Ezra's hole, working his fingers in, scissoring against the muscle. Satisfied Ezra was ready -- there was a difference between pain and damage -- his fingers slipped out and found their way onto his own cock, spreading what was left of the cream. He used the head of his dick to tease the opening, relishing the fact that Ezra stayed perfectly still, when he so obviously wanted to push down and take Vin in whole.

Vin pushed slowly into the loosened opening. Rocking back and forth, back and forth, slow and steady as he penetrated the tight canal, tugging at Ezra's balls while he moved, his hand tightening harder with every inward thrust. Ezra's eyes closed, the expression on his face an eloquent testimony to the pain and pleasure he was receiving.

His own body shaking, Vin fought to not come when his nuts brushed up against Ezra ass cheeks. Deeply seated, he took a few deep breaths to center himself, enjoying the feeling of warm soft tissue wrapped around the bare skin of his cock. So much better than vulcanized rubber ever could be. Finally sure of his control, he pulled all the way out and rammed himself back in.

Ezra cried out, but stayed still. Earning praise from Vin.

"That's good. You follow directions well. But it's time to let go, now. I want'a see you, want'a hear you...want'a feel you," Vin said, increasing the pounding rhythm of his hips. He moved his fingers up the sweaty chest under him and pinched the flushed nipples, pulling and twisting until each stood pointed and cherry red.

Animalistic sounds issued from Ezra's throat. Hands clawed at the straw, head rolled from side to side as he arched his ass up, meeting Vin's movements. His cock stood straight and hard, pre-come dripping down the sides, and when he reached for it, Vin slapped Ezra's hands out of the way.

"Didn't say you could touch yourself. Never touch your cock when I'm fucking you."

Ezra complied with a sob and his hands went back to clawing the straw beside him. "Harder," he whispered, voice hoarse.

Vin felt his balls contract and tighten. Knowing he wouldn't be able to stop it this time, he sped up, and with a final vicious thrust, he began to empty himself into Ezra's body with a yell. He quickly raised Ezra's ass a little higher, bent over and placed his mouth over Ezra's cock, going down as far as he could before the wrapped leather stopped him. With a final pump of his hips, he bit down on the hard flesh in his mouth.

Ezra jerked and shouted Vin's name as the come shot out of him. Vin greedily swallowed as much as he could, but the amount was too much and it spilled from his lips.

Drained, Vin rested his forehead against Ezra's abdomen, getting as much air as he could through his nose, his mouth still clamped around the barely softened erection. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to stay where he was, breathing in Ezra's scent, but he could feel his own spent dick slipping out of Ezra, and his legs and back were starting to cramp.

Opening his mouth with regret, Vin straightened up. Pulling back, he eased his dick out of the battered anal channel and unable to resist, bent over and lapped up the small puddle of ejaculate that had come to rest on the base of Ezra's shaft. He gently pushed Ezra's legs down, massaging, what he was sure had to be aching thigh muscles, with the heels of his palms. Reaching Ezra's groin, he took a good look at the tight leather and winced.

Starting with a thorough cleaning job, that had Ezra humming with pleasure, Vin felt around the sodden lead. Finding the small knot, he untied it and worked the leather off, gentle in his motions, placing soft kisses on every inch of raw looking skin. A satisfied sigh drifted to him and he glanced up, meeting Ezra's opened eyes. Vin stared, he couldn’t help it. He'd never seen such a look of contentment on Ezra's face.

"You're all right?" Vin asked.

"I'm good," Ezra replied. He squirmed a bit and Vin raised an eyebrow at him.

"The truth."

"I'm a little sore and the hay itches, but it's fine."

Vin grabbed Ezra by the elbows and helped him stand up. "I have a feeling you know this works, Ez. You tell me the truth whenever I ask," he demanded of the exhausted man.

"Yes, sir," Ezra answered and held on tight to Vin as he moved them into the tack room. Vin would rather take him into the house, but looking at the exhausted man, he knew they wouldn't make it. The wide bench along the back wall would have to do for now.

"Good. Can you sit here while I get a couple of blankets?" Vin kept a hold of the swaying man, waiting for an answer.

"I think so. If you're fast." Ezra sounded drained.

Vin made sure that Ezra wasn't going to fall over and quickly pulled two blankets out of cabinet above the bench. He spread them out and directed Ezra to lay down. He quickly stripped off his boots and jeans and joined Ezra on the bench, pulling him into his arms. Tucking a leg between Ezra's, he settled them.

"It's good now," Ezra said, his southern accent even thicker with drowsiness.

"Good," Vin answered and ran his fingers through the soft silk of Ezra's hair. "You sleep now."

"Thought you wanted to talk?" Ezra asked, his lips tickling the sensitive skin on Vin's collarbone.

"We will, after you rest." Vin placed a kiss on top of Ezra's head. Ezra sighed and Vin felt him drift off. He took a minute and tried to inventory his own emotions, but gave up when he realized he couldn't make heads or tails out of anything. Anything except how right it felt to be with Ezra. And he decided to go with it and just feel. The rest would be dealt with later.

Vin tightened his arms around Ezra, closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face.